The Voice within.

“I’ve told you before Ritika, I don’t believe in God. We cannot practice idol worship at our house until I’m alive! This decision is final!”

Ritika said, “Can’t you do this for me?” Kabir looked at Ritika and walked out of the room leaving Ritika helpless and sad. All I did throughout this conversation was look beyond their words and try to understand what they truly mean. I could not help but feel bad about the angry Kabir and helpless Ritika. I watched on as Ritika collapsed in defeat on the edge of the bed as she had tears in her eyes.

A few hours later.

Kabir walks into the room that he left angrily only to find Ritika; his wife nowhere in sight. Kabir Singh the usual self; the Crime branch, Mumbai Chief Investigating officer had his thoughts run wild in a spilt second of not finding his wife. He immediately ran across the house in search of his wife. But found no one. Did he hear my voice? I doubt he did. I was urging to spill out the truth. Kabir picked up his phone and dialed Ritika’s number. His suspicion now knew no boundaries when the automatic teller machine replied, “The number you’re trying to call does not exist”. Ritika never went out anywhere. She’s new to this city, she does not have any friends. Where could she be? Kabir’s thoughts ran helter-skelter.

Kabir decided to rush to his office. As he was moving out he found a letter on his door step. The letter in a white envelope had his name on it. He opened the letter to find written,

“जय त्वं देवि चामुण्डे जय भूतापहारिणि ।

जय सर्वगते देवि कालरात्रि नमोऽस्तु ते

मधुकैटभविध्वंसि विधातृवरदे नमः ।

रूपं देहि जयं देहि यशो देहि द्विषो जहि ’’

Kabir’s thoughts instantly started working on the Sanskrit shlok he just read. Could this be the literal meaning? Why would anyone send me a Sanskrit shlok? He wanted to reach office as soon as he could to decode this letter. As he drove, he sent out a SOS message to Sameer, his tech wizard, Aparna and Jai his close aids.  As he was nearing office, he played the turn of events of the day in his mind. Fight with Ritika about navratri, Ritika goes missing and then he receives a letter with a shlok of the Goddess. The Shlok is definitely trying to say something! The sequence of events now following a path but the confusion only grew.

As he reached office, he went straight to his cabin wasting no time on any formal greetings. His soldiers were ready for war. He pressed the letter against the desk in front of the three and looked really tensed. They had never seen their boss like this before. This has to be different from any other case for sure, thought the three.

Sameer got to his work immediately. He found the exact translation of the verse. It read,

“Victory to You O Devi, Who are Present in All Beings; Salutations to You, O Devi Kalaratri (a form of Devi Durga, literally means the Dark Night).

O Devi, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Beauty, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Victory, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Glory and Please Destroy my (Inner) Enemies.”

While Kabir sat lost in his thoughts, the three of them were further confused. What could this mean? Where did this come from?

After a long silence, Aparna finally spoke, “Boss?” Kabir looked up her, “Hmm?” “What is this? Where did this letter come to you from? Some background so we can start working?”

Kabir realized that he didn’t give them any other details. He then starts narrating his day to this team that was eagerly waiting to hear from him. As the story concluded, with the reminisces lingering on their minds, the officers sat gazing at their atheist boss in shock.

“Okay, so clearly this is something to do with Ritika Ma’am and navratri. I think that someone has kidnapped her and wants you to find her at the Navratri pandal. But why?” Jai the person who speaks the least but the most intelligent of the lot said.

Kabir was now furious. “What? Are u out of your mind! I am not going for any Navratri pooja!”

The next day, Kabir wakes up in the way he never has in the past. He didn’t sleep for a minute. He kept tossing and turning. Now that he was up and sipping on his coffee to get some clarity on what step has to be taken, he thinks aloud, “Maybe I should go to the Navratri pandal that has been set up in our society. What if Jai is right? Let’s see what Ritika’s goddess has to show me.”

Kabir gets dressed in the most casual way to go down only to find people heavily dressed in their best attires. Ladies were wearing beautiful sarees and men were looking daper in their traditionally clothes. What was astonishing for Kabir was that amongst all this chaos and confusion, people dawned their smiles, the most dashing part of their personality. Shifting his focus back, his eyes scanned the pandal for this wife. But he could not find Ritika anywhere. Kabir sat there wondering maybe Jai was wrong all this while. There was no point coming here. But then what did the letter mean? Why would someone send me a letter which translated praising the goddess? While he was lost in his thoughts, a small boy came to him and drops him a letter with a managalsutra. He instantly recognized the mangalsutra. Till he realized he should ask the boy, the small kid was nowhere to be found. He opened the letter to find a similar verse. The managalsutra was without a doubt Ritika’s.

So Jai was right! But why? What was the connection? He rushed back to office and informed the rest about the day. Aparna instantly said, “This verse is relating to Shailaputri. The first day of Navratri is dedicated to Shailaputri. Shailaputri is the goddess of power. Managalsutra signifies power for a lady. So does this mean someone is playing with us?” The others nodded in agreement. The whole day went by in decoding what else could the verses mean. The day ended with only one option left, to go to the pandal the next day.

The remaining eight days went by with new clues every day. With every passing day came a fresh letter delivered by fresh new people delivering them who were no more than delivery boys or girls. Every day Kabir would receive some ornament that belonged to Ritika. Behind what met the eye, hidden amongst the confusions and chaos, hurdles and hiccups that came on the way, Kabir no more had a head ache with lack of sleep, he now started smiling seeing people enjoy the festivities. People were happy irrespective of all the negatives. Surprisingly, Kabir enjoyed these confusions. No sign of his wife did make him helpless. He now had her managalsutra, ear-rings, rings, bangles, nose-ring, toe-ring and payal. But Ritika was nowhere. He sat with all the letters in front of him. Eight days had passed by, eight clues each signifying the importance of the eight devis; Shailiputri,Brahmachirini, Chandraghanta, Kushmanda, Skanda Mata, Katyayani, Kali and Maha Gauri.

“What was common between these? What is it that I can’t see here? What is it that the best team can’t crack? Tomorrow is the last day of Navratri, what would it be? Good or bad? I just hope she’s fine. I want my smiling wife back.  What did the shloks try to tell me?” thought Kabir.

Next day- The last day of Navratri

The final day was here. Kabir was better dressed than usual today. Trying to feel the joy he had been experiencing since the past 8 days among the chaos his life had created. What was he doing? His wife was missing and he was dressing up?

Are you still wondering who I am? You shall know in a while.

Kabir now reached the pandal for the final day, hoping this would end today.

The pandal played loud music as he entered. Everyone was lost in the festivities. No space what so ever for anyone to move around. “How will I find Ritika in this? Where are the rest?” He asked himself. As he tried to find his way, Kabir felt someone following him. He found a dark lane behind the pandal. Why hadn’t he seen this before? He moved there. The ally led to a door. The path was completely dark and lonely. Only Kabir and I walked.

I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. "Ten, nine, eight, seven..."

At the count of one he unlocked the door, the door opened to a room which looked like an old hut. The ceiling was coming down, the wall color was out. He switched on the light to find a verse written on the wall in blood. The same verse that was on the first letter. The blood scared him fist. He went closer to take a look at the verse.

“जय त्वं देवि चामुण्डे जय भूतापहारिणि ।

जय सर्वगते देवि कालरात्रि नमोऽस्तु ते

मधुकैटभविध्वंसि विधातृवरदे नमः ।

रूपं देहि जयं देहि यशो देहि द्विषो जहि ’’

Kabir now completely lost.

I now translated the verse for him,

“Victory to You O Devi, Who are Present in All Beings; Salutations to You, O Devi Kalaratri (a form of Devi Durga, literally means the Dark Night).

O Devi, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Beauty, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Victory, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Glory and Please Destroy my (Inner) Enemies.

“Think of how your nine days have been, Kabir. What did you witness? God? Did you feel God? No? Then what? You felt yourself. Yes Kabir, God is not an ‘idol’ but an ‘ideal’. It’s someone, something right inside every individual. The beauty of life does not lie in worshipping God. The festivities are only a reason to come together. God is not the destination, it is the path that leads you to your destination. The destination is mere JOY. The smile you saw on the lady’s face who sat there? Or the content on the man’s face who stood behind his wife? Or the kids running around with sweets in their hands?

Yes, that is what I am talking about. It is the inner spirituality. The inner being that matters. You need to destroy the enemies within you. It’s not God that led you to the pandal all nine days, but the struggle for your wife. The hunt for her. To see her smiling face. Didn’t you discover yourself in the process? That is what Ritika asked you for. Your support, your love and the joy of togetherness. She asked for the destruction of the enemy within.

Kabir fell to the floor in realization. The verse spoke of the enemy within him. The darkness within me. His atheist rebellious anger was his enemy. All Ritika asked for was his support not spirituality. Ritika walked into the room at this time. Kabir was now in tears as he hugged his wife.

Who was I?

I was the same inner voice. Right inside you. You felt me when I got angry at Ritika. You felt me in the discovery of yourself and you feel me today as you realized your mistakes. I was Kabir’s inner strength. The moral that lead him. The voice that lead him to realize what Ritika tried to show him.

Moral: We all have the ME inside of US. It is just time that shows which me we let out and keep hidden.  The hidden beauty in the everyday goof-ups, the perfections within the imperfections trying to peek-a-boo in our lives. It’s just how well we see them, recognize them and make an effort to let them make a difference in our small world. The magic you feel within knows no boundaries. It needs no accolades and it needs no material objects to testify its existence. The joy of living and feeling every chaos is worth more than any great perk.

The smiles of sharing, the tears of true friendship and the feeling of being loved lies just somewhere within the pandemonium of office, the noise of work and the silence of loneliness. So live for the joy of living and share for the joy of caring. People are blessings in disguise.

Live and Love.