Let me write my own fairy tale

Finding my horizon 

I have always wanted to write on ‘feminism’ but the word is so misconstrued in our times that my feelings on the subject have always been bottled up and never let out. In the newest and most ‘popular’ definition of the word; if asked, I am not an advocate of feminism. I thought I used to be but not anymore.  I always wondered I would be ‘judged’ for my opinions. But that’s when I realized, how am I any different from the people I am writing/criticizing/whining about if I am myself scared to voice my opinion? Am I not a hypocrite? So, I finally decided to put it across.

The question that I have always wanted to ask is not about my color, my waist size, my weight or my ‘sanctity’ of being a girl. The question I always ask is why is all of the above portrayed in our tales? The fault lies not in a guy demanding a ‘fair’ looking bride. The fault probably lies in the matrimonial advertisements making even a darker tone girl light with makeup because society won’t accept that a brown girl can be on the cover. It lies on the front page of the GQ magazine that always has men with abs and never with flabs.

When the youth of a country can watch/listen and talk confidently about body shaming at talk shows but still refuse to date/marry a person based on the ulterior aesthetics, you know something is terribly wrong. Why does my tale have to have my prince charming coming on a white horse? Why can’t I be respected for wanting to ride my own horse? Is it quintessential for a girls’ existence to be reiterated with the presence of a man or vice versa?

In our stereotypical way, I am not going to be an ‘ideal’ girl anymore because I have the audacity to ‘ask’ these questions. Well, because that’s again a characteristic a girl ‘should’ have; keeping her mouth shut. Not taking away anything from the men in our society; even they do have to go through the stereotypes, sometimes a little less or sometimes a little more. I am not a woman’s’ activist here, I am one of equality and freedom.

All I am asking is to be free to write my own story without the fear of having to be judged by the length of my skirt or the guts to do something someone else doesn’t want to do. When I look at the water and see the horizon while others adore the beauty of the waves, is that because I am wrong or is that because my perspective is different from yours? While you want to sit around in a group of 20 looking at the same fishes and waves, I want to find my horizon. If my father didn’t respect my personality more than my grades and my mother didn’t respect my education more than my beauty, I would probably be in the herd finding the fishes myself.

Feminism does not lie in giving me the reserved seat in the bus, it lies in giving me the confidence to stand on my own feet. Feminism does not mean a candle march on India Gate for Nirbhaya, it also means appreciating the male friend who stood up for her. As long as we suppress and blame the men for our situation that long we are from getting our freedom. Yes, maybe the ones that deserve the appreciation and trust are few in comparison to the majority; but as long as we depend on someone else to protect us, that far we are from being equal. You won’t get your rights by snatching someone’s rights. You both must be given them.

By the end of every article I write, I always end up questioning myself, if I am too idealistic and optimistic? But today as I write this, I realized that the society never gave me the freedom to paint my own picture and that is why when I attempt to hold the pencil, I question myself. Why do we have to fight to hold the reins of our lives in our own hand?

I am a fair brown (get the sarcasm, if you can) Indian girl who is miles away from her homeland trying to breathe free and live her dreams. So, however far I have come and how much further I go from here shall be decided not by what ‘people say’ but where and how far I want to go.

I never really believed in fairy tales but if I ever do I want to believe in my own.

All I am asking is “Can I just write my own fairy tale”?