Life out of a suitcase - Part II

It has been a while since I actually penned down something. A lot has changed ever since my last blog (Life out of a suitcase). Writing, to me, was everything about sharing my fears, inhibitions, and perspectives. It was a channel to my feelings. Some understood some did not. There hasn’t been a particular reason that I can point out for my sabbatical from doing something that gives me innate joy. However, things have changed and some that I may not even be happy about.

Nevertheless, here I am, back to doing what I feel I was not extremely poor at. Does it really matter even if I was? Come to think of it, one of the many reasons I never felt the need to write was because I found a human diary. Recently when I re-visited my previous blog is when I found the connection. There is a friend, a close friend (co-blogger), whom I made a promise. Amongst our various discussions about food, photography, traveling and blogging, I mentioned to him that I write about people and life experiences, frustrated of his constant bullying (yes, he can be trouble), I passed a comment that I would probably need a full page blog to describe him. I made a promise to write about him before the end of 2018. (Yes, I know it's 2019). Little did I know, I probably need a lifetime to do so.

That’s the irony, this close friend (now my husband), my human diary, now makes me want to complete my ‘Life of a suitcase’. While I was trying to find a house, (literally, I hate shifting), I found a ‘home’. Am I living out of a suitcase, still? Probably. Do I feel like I belong somewhere, Definitely! I started writing the first blog wondering if Canada would ever be home and my journey towards trying to find and build one. Here, I am, nearly two years later, convinced, that home is not a place, it is a person, a feeling and an emotion.

I know you’re wondering, what is the point of this blog? Is it about my sabbatical, my life in Canada or this person I call home? It is actually about the unpredictability of life and the weird connection and sequence of events in my life. (Also, a little bit about keeping my promise)

Who would have thought that I would fall in love with a person who ‘bro-zoned’ me! For people who know me even a little bit, know that I was the most Anti-marriage person. From that to being one of the first people amongst my close circuit to tie the knot, it has been quite a journey in itself. That is the unpredictability of life. You not only do not have control of factors external to you, but you also do not have control of who you become. Situations, circumstances, and life changes you. One of the most important people in my life, the one who made me believe in the institution of marriage, wasn’t there to walk me down the aisle. A dream every girl, even an emotionally non-existent girl deep down her heart has. That has been my biggest takeaway from the past year or so.

Life is unpredictable, you have this one second you’re living right now to do what makes you happy. So why stop yourself? Why restrict yourself to numbers and barriers society set for you. People often say you have one life, live it to the fullest. No, you die only once, you live every day. So stop living towards the feeling that everyone has to die one day, you’re killing yourself a little every day by stopping yourself from being who you truly are.

My journey from living a life out of a suitcase to finding my pieces in another person to complete the puzzle of my life and start a new one, it has been a rollercoaster. Am I any less ambitious than I used to be? 200%, NO. People think they need to achieve everything before a certain time and then ‘settle down’ later. What really is this ‘settle down’? I have a person who believes in my dreams and capabilities far more than I do myself. How can the person who understands my over-obsessive need to excel at everything I do, ever be the one who makes me ‘compromise’ on my career? Being married, having a high paying job or an elite house doesn’t mean you settled down. You settle down when you stop yourself from growing and living. A man or anybody for the matter of fact, does not have the ability to stop you. So refrain from blaming the external factors.

If you still don’t believe me, I’d say don’t. Because if someone had said this to the old me, I would ask them to be happy in their bubble and leave me alone (Yes, I was pretty defensive of my point of views).

All I have to say is, don’t let your life be ruled by standards of what society has set for you. You don’t have to have a million dollars before you die or a mansion before you raise kids or be the CEO of the company before you get married or graduate at the age of 21. Do what makes you happy. Do something that makes you feel alive every day. I learned this the hard way, by losing the most important man in my life and finding the other most important man in my life.

That’s my version of Life out of a suitcase 2.0. Along with my overflowing suitcase that was always filled with dreams, aspirations, ambitions and my over-enthusiasm; I decided to make a ‘little space’ in my suitcase for love. Trust me, it hasn’t taken away space from my ‘big dreams’; it has only made them stronger and my smile a lot wider.

To the person who makes me laugh a little louder and love a little harder ♥️