Colours of Life

2015-An unsaid version through the lens and words of a girl who's tide turned ends in the year. The sun of 2015 sets today with the hope of a brighter and glaring 2016 that awaits. 

As the year comes to close today, I was sitting back and pondering upon how the year has been. This picture here depicts my feelings perfectly. It has been a shade of grey a little here and shade of orange a little there. This year has taught me that nothing is permanent. Not even your sorrows if you have any. A dark patch does not necessarily mean a dark life, it only means that a stronger force of orange is waiting below to showcase its side. Like the setting sun, 2015 has been a year of a college journey and many other stories seeing an end. The question is; is it the end? I often considered life to be colourful in college and black after. However, only when the sun set, did I realize the meaning of the grey. With the beautiful fire ball in sight, why would anyone look at the dark clouds, isn't it?
But, hold on and look ahead; they tell you a story.

A rising fire ball in sight, a beautiful story it said;

As the shadows of clouds took over its crown.

Does the enveloping grey also have a say?

Look deeply, the clouds call out,

Awaiting another sunrise, it teaches you to blend.

Filling the aesthetic sky of life with the desired colours you crave,

Not every sunset is a closure and not every sunrise is a beginning.  

Look around, because every sunset tells you a story,

Discover your cry, because every shade holds a meaning.

Hold your breath, smell the fragrance and embrace the beauty, because every grey narrates a meaningful story.

Happy new year everyone :) This one is for a colourful 2016 

Beautiful people - Part III

Today as I began writing, I didn’t know where this one was headed. Something from within called for this writing and that is where I started this off. I began as a confused soul. I asked myself a few questions, is life always about the people in your present, what about those who left? Some knowingly and some unknowingly drifted away. Is it always about physical presence of people in your life? Would my life be the same without a certain said people walking through my heart? I found answers to few and some are left unanswered as I don’t know how I completely feel about them. Some sanctity did prevail as I reached a conclusion in my heart. Now that schooling and college and the care free days of friendships are over and we are not in the phase of everyone being available every single time; it is imperative to realize that the importance of those people and the impact they once created in your life will and in no way can be whipped off. And that is because of the simple fact that they touched your soul. Not everybody has the ability and I would say the honor of doing that in your life. I say honor because these are the people who have seen your bare soul. The unidentified, uncensored version of you. Some like tagging them as ‘best friends’; ‘support systems’; or ‘disguised family’. Call them as you like, but the truth remains that they exist. Somewhere deep down in a corner of your heart they still continue to play a role. If you’re lucky some of them form part of your present.

So these beautiful people who I am talking about today are my ‘special ones’.  The ones without who I probably wouldn’t have made it through college and school. Better put, the ones who made school and college worth cherishing (and blogging today). Easier said than done right? How can I put to words relations and people who don’t need words to understand me? How can I express my feelings about faces who read my expressions like an open book? How can I make believe my readers that such startling people exist who startle my life? How can my words give life to these humans who make life a better place to live in? This is where I decide to let my heart do the talking today.

From having someone from the time of your birth and still having her part of your life, physically and emotionally seems like a miracle, doesn’t it? But it is true in one case. A sister in disguise, my parent’s third child and the person who is just a panic call away. From having our share of ups and downs as school children, she has been a testimony and companion to growing up. We beat the conventional best friend tag, because she’s just family now. Walked into my life without invitation; (well, we were born in the same hospital four days apart) and is going to now stay till the end with our will, because life seems to have fevicoled our lives! That’s us! Effortlessly and no constraints! With her life doesn’t have serious issues; that is not because we don’t have problems, but because we have the ability of laughing over them together.

When I first walked into college, I did know college will bring people who I’d befriend, but I never thought I’d find gems! It is difficult to find people with who you can be completely yourself and be assured you won’t be judged. When that happens, you know you’ve found the right ones! Luckily I found two of them! Seniors, support systems, my overdose of madness. No amount of words would ever describe these two guys in my life completely. I am the last one who would trust someone easily. And today, when I am in a place where I don’t know if they’ll physically be present in my life tomorrow, I still know that I can blindly trust them. That’s what life teaches you, doesn’t it? Time, life and work are only quantified in numbers but what cannot be quantified is the love and care of people. The people who never expressed their love and people who I never expressed of what they mean to me are the ones who’ll remain the closest to your heart. The guys who can tolerate my drama and reciprocate it with more drama. The men who can handle a said non-emotional girl’s emotions and the boys who can give back more emotional outflow. The people who make me feel home with just listening to their voice. Whether it was a silent treatment or the stern critical warning or the never-ending care and love they showered me with. We played such multi-dimensional roles in each other’s life. But it was only to see the other one smiling. They are nothing but magicians. Life has been a roller coaster with them, but not a tiny bit less than a ride you never want to forget. It may sound filmy but it does happen, on a day when you need help, on days when you are down and out and they are out of calling reach, you just have to think of those two beautiful souls and remember that they are watching over you and it will leave you with a smile. A smile which is worth way more than what money can buy you. A reassurance and comfort no activity can get you.

The last human, I am talking of today (order must not be misconceived) is a physical distance away but will never be away. The girl who sitting a 10000 kilometers away from me knows with just my messages if I am happy or sad or upset or high on life! Needless to say, I can do the same. Maybe that is our greatest gift. A soul sister, a mirror, the strongest support, my secret santa, my birthday santa, my countdown keeper, in every true sense of the word, ‘partner in crime’.  We’ve both used this phrase for so many others. But the justice to the phrase is done only by you. From making similar choices in college to wanting to do the same things. We’ve broken the shackles of conventionality in every way. In our case, I don’t know what the future holds or what the past held, I just know one thing and that is that you are the one friend I want to have till eternity. Whether it is making an effort from a different time zone or in future a different life, it will always be the way it is.

I do not know what life would have looked like if these four hadn’t crossed my path. Maybe it would have been a little less dramatic, a little less clumpsy and a little less emotional. But it would also be a lot less special, a lot less loving, a lot less magical and a lot less easy. It is the comfort your heart feels being surrounded by them that makes you go on in life. This has nothing to do with meeting them every day or speaking to them every day or making a false promise of ‘permanent’. They are not my ‘constants’ of life as often addressed (even by me, foolish me) but they definitely are the constants of the heart.  The four pillars of my building of life. I can move to another floor higher or lower as life will take me in the future, but the basic four pillars that can never be broken and never be shaken are the ones you build growing up. They stand right there until an earthquake or human created demolish takes the building down. They go down only when the building seizes to exist.

We do not have control of who stays in our life forever. Destiny has a different style of playing than ours. What stays are memories and regrets of not making enough efforts to let them know what they mean to you. So never stop making the ones you love feel special. Because the most amazing feeling is the feeling of making some one smile, and if seeing somebody smile makes you smile in turn, it is your sign that they mean the world to you.

That is what they mean to me, I do not need to take names to convey to who this is addressed. Because somethings are better left unsaid.   

The four pillars of my life. The one's who touched the soul. This one is for the spirit of  friendships and love. For the never-dying connection of the heart. 

Above and Beyond

In the recent times, people have seen me blogging about life, philosophy and the beautiful people that come along with the changes life has brought. But that is not how I started off. Today I want to take time out to reflect on where I started and the reason for my blogging. I was the last one who would write on way of life. Surprised? If you had known me 5-7 years ago, you wouldn’t be. I was a normal school going girl who could express through words. I was crazy for the sport of cricket. The difference was that I was highly opinionated and passionate for the game. That is when my family encouraged me to blog. As that would channel my energy (overly-enthusiastic) to something constructive. Appreciation of loved ones, support from family and reads from co-cricket fanatics helped me grow and want to write more and more. The love for the game never died. What happened after that? I think, LIFE happened. Like most others, I moved on to a more mature form of writing. Maturity turned to philosophy and philosophy was backed with instances from life. Somewhere in this journey of trying to be a writer, did I lose track of how I inherently started? Maybe no. We all grow and evolve to be more focused in life, I see no harm in writing on varied aspects. But what matters to me is not forgetting where it all started.

I keep giving tributes and dedications to different people through my writing. But today it is going to be one for my ‘journey’. What better day than today! Why is it so special today? It won’t be wrong to say that if it wouldn’t be for my love for the man who celebrates his birthday today, I probably wouldn’t have had the urge to pen my thoughts. As immature as it can get, like every teenager, Yuvraj Singh was the driving force for my blogging back then. Some understood, some did not. Some gave it the name of a childhood crush. But the reality is that I loved the man for the love of the game. I did not love the game because of the love for the man. Even today, when I watch cricket and see the Indian no.4 and no.5 come out to bat, it feels like a disguised Yuvraj and Dhoni walking down the pitch. Isn’t the team struggling to find their perfect middle order combination a sign of the magic the duo created?  Like they say, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, I do not want to sentence you to death if you don’t see that mystic like I do.

From being an ardent cricket lover to one of the strongest critic. I have done it all that it takes to be one of the million people who consider cricket a religion in this country. The old school memories still play fresh in my head. Back then, the brutalist of debates used to be the ones where two or three people with different viewpoints began discussing the game. Not to forget that I owe a few friendships to the madness of the game. Somewhere deep down my heart lies the same immature girl even today, who while penning this down is smiling from ear to ear as the memories of the days fill her mind and soul. The pictures of a girl sitting with all the newspapers spread on the floor, cutting out the important sports news for her ‘scrapbook’ flashes and my vision reaches a point where I can see nothing but those days of wearing the jersey and painting the face.

Apart from filling my memoir with the most long-lasting visions what has the game and the man given me? My most important lesson is that it’s not about the destination but the journey. That brings me to what I started off with. Yuvraj Singh may only be a name of a glorious cricketer today, but he was a part of my journey of growing up. A journey of growing up to see him accomplish what seemed like a mammoth dream. Growing up to admire seeing a sportsman go down and rise back to shine brighter. Growing up to see a young boy live the dream of his father. Growing up with a live example of playing for the country. That’s what counts, isn’t it? The journey of an exemplary talent embodied in the most flamboyant cricketer. Somewhere we walked this journey together. From a cricket fanatic wanting to write embodied in an over enthusiastic girl to trying a hand at mature form of blogging today, it is all about the ground we’ve covered. Knowingly, unknowingly, consciously, unconsciously the man has been an example, an inspiration and a partner to all the hurdles and success that came along. And that is what the spirit of the game and the world cup man of the tournament has taught me; life comes with challenges, you even face them and move on in life but what one must never forget when they are successful is the ground that lifted him or her. You may not count the steps that took you to climb atop, but definitely realize and embed the stint you had climbing up.

Today, as I try convincing myself that I am a grown up girl in a corporate world and these stupid things shouldn’t be wasted time on writing. But my conviction and never dying love for the sport and this archetypal cricketer is what makes me never give up. Maybe, that is what I’ve erudite along, isn’t it? What if Yuvraj Singh had given up to his cancer? Or given up on his dream to win the world cup? The most coveted trophy would only remain a dream. So whether it is never giving up on my dreams or my belief in the man; I’d rather stay an ‘immature girl’ if that’s what it takes to convince this society than give up on who I intrinsically am.

In my version of reality lies the spirit of my love for cricket and the joy I get in writing for Yuvraj. Because it is not about how life treats you or whether you get a second chance or no, what you wish to do despite those chances not coming your way is what the man has taught me. Whether it was cancer or not getting a second chance to come back, he hasn’t given up and is still out there helping those like him.

This one is for all those people who believe in never giving up on their journey. Because succumbing to the whims of this harsh world maybe an easy option, but what matters within is being an unapologetic version of yourself. The version of yourself that knows the true meaning of the expedition your life has been and despite it relishes the craziness of the small joys that make you want to live.

Because there could be no more fitting day than today to put this to words,

Happy Birthday, Yuvi. J

A version of your life and mine, above and beyond what meets the eye. 

For the love of the game and yuvraj and my journey along with his. - Above and Beyond

Beautiful people - Part II

Wondering who I would be writing for now? In all honesty, it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be, when I started off. What is the big deal? It is about writing for the people who have touched my life; is what I told myself. Like someone rightly pointed out to me, this blog is not about writing but about expressing myself. It is my way of a small tribute to the beautiful people who decorate my life or have in the past. Doing justice to the charisma of those people is what I effectively want to do. So first thing first, the order of the blogs must not be misunderstood as any sort of preference. Without any form of envy and biases, this is just as simply put; ‘my expression of love for people’.

While I was conversing with a one of my ‘bacchas’ (that’s how I like to address them) dared me to write on him. So much so that I brought the challenge onto myself. So the secret kiddo who inspired me to pen this down; not 15-16 or anywhere down; it’s going to be ‘Beautiful people-Part II’. In my opinion, every word ever written always has a history to it. This one has one too. While I sat there reminiscing my old college days in my fixed ‘khopcha’; the people passing by were moving in a blur like a movie being played in a fast track zone; with some known and some new faces. Before my thoughts could lead me to trance, my junior in shining armor walked in! There he was! The person who made coming back to college worth the time. (Just FYI, he always saves me from going into my trance of thoughts! Surprisingly telepathically as crazy as it may sound.)

Have you ever felt the urge to go back to the blissful life of college or school? I am sure in this fast paced 21^st century; we’ve all had that thought at least once to say the least! I am no different on this front. But what is it that makes me want to go back to college even after having graduated is what matters to me. It is the love of the people still in college. I do not know if my feelings for college would be the same the next year. That is not only because I would have grown out of it but it is also because I wouldn’t have anyone who would come running towards me and hug me when I enter college. There wouldn’t be anyone in college who would be waiting for me to surprise them post work. Those comforting hugs and marvelous smiles of MY people is what makes my going back to college a 100% worth it. 

I share very unconventional relations with most people and the reason for this is still unknown to me.  If you haven’t understood yet, I am talking about my juniors for thehumans of sanskriti today. It could be surprising to know that I trust and admire some of them more than my own batch mates. Like it is said, friendships do not come with age tags! So enough of the junior and senior formality, because that never came in way of us. From seeing them enter college to seeing their journey over the 3 years to witnessing them live their dreams in college, to grooming to be market ready in the next few months, it has truly been a very satisfying journey. I say satisfying because even if I made a tiny minuscule impact in somebody’s life I consider myself successful, because touching lives is far more sustaining that accolades and awards.

Aren’t there some people with whom you just have a feeling of belonging? That is how I feel with them! They have understood me with just a smile on their face, reassuring me all the time; “We know”. From making me a birthday video, to wearing special shoe laces for me, to travelling to and fro 2 hours for 15 minutes to meet me, to getting beautiful words from the most inexpressible person, to those wonderful worded posts, to having my back when I am down and hating my haters, to giving me panic calls when in trouble, to seeking advice when it’s needed, to confiding in me for the heart-to-heart discussions, to pulling my leg; they’ve done it all. I’ve hardly ever expressed how much they mean to me, but just maybe life would feel a little less special if it wouldn’t be for their presence. The cupcakes on my birthday I didn’t want to celebrate wouldn’t be so sweet if they weren’t bought by the right people. A teary eyed farewell wouldn’t be so emotional if I didn’t have those people who made leaving so difficult say those heart-touching things.  Those joyous economic victories wouldn’t be so full of pride if they weren’t won by the right people. Standing in the background and clapping for them wouldn’t be so satisfying if they hadn’t given me the respect to stand for them.

It is the respect that you give to me that has made the end to college a perfect one. It is the love you shower me with that has made the end of college not be end to friendships. It is the undying spirit of your enthusiasm that makes me never want to give up. It is your unconditional support in me that makes me want to set higher standards for you to live up to. It is your trust in me that makes me want to be all the more approachable for you when you need me. I may not be an ideal person, but I am definitely going to try my best to be a friend who you can fall back on when you need. Because life comes in all shapes and sizes, but the love and support of your special ones is what comes as the biggest gift.

Like I always say, bringing a tear to someone’s eye with an accomplishing smile is a sign. I accept that sign of life yet again and conclude with a dedication to all those people who have help me build myself. Because while I was busy thinking of how to be a good senior to all of you, you’ll helped me discover myself in the process too. In ways more than one, you’ll make saying goodbye impossible. 

This picture is only an illustration of a few of my kiddos who have touched my life. Each one of you is truly special :)

Beautiful people - Part I

It was one of my normal day of wondering and thinking (over-thinking, yes I have that ability); when I started to think to myself of what was my purpose of writing? What is it that drives me to pen down my feelings? That is when I realized that the impelling cause behind is the urge to touch lives with my writing. Yes. I discovered my purpose. Somebody once told me that I have the eccentric ability to move people with my writing. So here I am with my series of ‘Beautiful people’. This series is a dedication to ‘MY’ people. Some may not be a part of my life today, but be assured to be featured on this column if you’ve left your mark on me, even in the smallest way. (Trust me, it is not easy touching my life. I am a very stubborn and stone-hearted person). I am going to write this in parts and grouping of the numerous people that touch my life in ways more than one. Humans of India style, here is a ‘Humans of Sanskriti’s life’

I choose to start my series with the most important person in my life. Why do I choose to begin with her? I could have started with the lady who bought me into this world and made me capable enough to word this article. But the person I am talking about first is an angel in disguise my mother gifted to me at the time of my birth and then on every second of my life has been a beautifully encrypted fairy tale because of the presence of this fairy!

The relation we share is astonishing for many and unbelievable for the rest. We see siblings who pull each-others hair and are at war at most times. But people have often been blown away by the extreme love that I share with her. Yes, we’ve fought, so much so that it has ended in brutal tears. But what followed the tears was tears for each other to be hurt. I am so sure you are confused as hell by now. I am also sure if I keep addressing her as only ‘her’ by the end of my article you won’t know whether this was about my best friend, my love, my mother, my teacher, my mentor, my support system, my counselor, my wish-granting ginnie or a magician! Yes, that’s her! Cannot have a more fitting summary to her. Are you already falling for her? Oh you can’t! She’s all mine. (Wicked smile)

Getting back to reality, starting off writing my ABC to starting off writing blogs; she has been the constant backbone to all my antiques. The beautiful people series can in no way be for anybody but my sister. From being a 7 year old kid turning into my ‘chotti mummy’ and taking care of me to being this grown up corporate Indian married woman, she has done it all. She has the charisma to charm you with her smile. Make you fall in love with her wit. Make you fall off the chair with her intelligence and make you feel loved with her comforting presence. But that is for the world to see and realize, what is it that makes her a part of my ‘humans of sanskriti’? If I had to put it in simple words, I do not know what a life would feel without her! I was born with a human size teddy bear to play with (oh she really was! This cute looking pony tails hanging fair chubby girl).

We can hunt down a person who hurts the other person. I will never need a body guard, because she is my forever wali gundi protecting me with her words and arms. Life just feels so complete knowing that there is this person who is going to be right behind you irrespective of how life treats you. Do you even need anything else? I am not going to state the obvious here. From making me feel special on every birthday to celebrating my success more than me, to giving me the expert advice to listening to me crib, cry and complain.  From helping me envision my dreams to helping me live those dreams. We’ve fought, we’ve broken down, picked up each other and loved each other unconditionally. Is there anything that she has not done for me? The answer would most definitely be no.

I know the things that can make and break her. We have supported each other to grow into these individuals that we are today. The relation I share with her is something that cannot be put to words. People have walked in and out of my life, she defines the word ‘constant’ for me. The thought of her getting married scared me initially, why lie? I cried to myself for days thinking I am going to lose her, but life has been kind. I realized that being a physical distance away from me does not take her ‘away’. As a child, you never really know the importance of people in your life, you tend to believe in the good, but that’s growing up right?

My muse in photography, the ink in my pen, the sugar in my coffee and the magic in my life! You define ‘SANSKRITI BHATIA’ to be who she is. I don’t say it every day, I don’t make you feel loved the way you deserve, I do not talk to you on long calls like you want, I do not treat you the way I should be, but life has given me no greater gift than the gift of having someone to call, “DIIIIII”

Here I am sitting glaring into my laptop screen, with tears in my eyes and at loss of words. The length of my paras keep growing as I do not know if my words do justice to the beauty of the word ‘DIDI’ in my life. If my readers would ever be able to understand what I am trying to say. So I’d end here with just a pondering thought, there are a million souls in this world, a few hundred come into your life and a handful touch your heart. Never let those people go. Life is too short to hold on to grudges and mistakes. Make the most of the gift of people. More often than not what stays with us is only regret to have let go of something that was worth saving a lifetime.

A dedication to the lady who defines beauty with brains. You are my lifeline dii. Cheers to your spirit of  LIFE. Love you :) Your beauty through my words and lens. 

Being Indian

We have grown up in an environment where before teaching ABC, we are taught of what people will think of how the ABC is taught and people judge you for the way you say your ABC. The will of the ‘society’ over powers our will to live. This atmosphere cannot be separated from us, can it? So all we do is adjust to its whims and fancies. It becomes so much a part of our DNA that we don’t realize that we are mere puppets at the hands of our ‘society’

So what makes you live? What is the driving force that separates the enthusiastic US from the rest? In my opinion, it’s the smile on the face of our people.

Weird? Thinking what’s the connection? I have gone mad? Think of it my readers. Ever smiled seeing your parents smile? Ever see your mother frown over petty issues? Doesn’t that smile on the kind lady who offers you a seat giving up hers make your day? We all come home to delicious smelling food, irrespective of our mother’s mood. It is the magic of that smile. The smile that lives for other people. The smile that encourages you to never give up. The smile that hides a million tears behind it.

Every day while travelling to office, I see a hundred smiles. Behind those hundred smiles lie a thousand worries. A thousand mistakes. A thousand compromises. And ONE will. The spirit of never giving up. The spirit of seeing someone else smiling. The joy of being the reason for someone to smile. This gift of JOY can come in different packages. A welcoming home-coming smile from your mother. A re-assuring smile from a friend when you are worried. A smile from your sister, saying I love you more than anyone else.

With so much happening in life, the fast paced nature, the every changing tide; all I can sit back and think is this! What is the true meaning of life? It is the glowing face of my mother, my teacher, my friend and my sister or a random lady in the train; who without complains, without frowns and without a fuss just move on to keep me smiling. Like the insect eating us all up from inside, but giving up Is not an option is it? That is the true meaning behind these everyday goof-ups and smiles that cover up for those.

What’s so Indian about it? God gave the same set of aesthetics to the counter-part countries. But the heart of the smile, comes to an Indian. Somewhere we all have given up on a dream to fulfil our parent’s dreams, haven’t we? Or some of us have even found our dreams in theirs. We’ve gone out of our way to support their dreams. To see a ‘smile’ on their face. It is not something extra ordinary that we did. I have friends who have done it. They are doing it with as most passion as their own passion. They are amazingly successful. Too much of a 'local bite'. 

Moving on, we’ve all grown up in that culture of ‘love’ to do that. Finding life in the life of another person. Taking up a profession for the sake of service. Trying your bit to make our society a better place. It is the virtue of life. The best a man can give to his fellow-beings is the gift of LOVE and support.

Why do we hold ourselves back from doing what we were born to do? Why do we restrict ourselves in the name of ‘societal burden’ and ‘paise ki daud’? All you got to do is, pause a minute, look around, hold a hand and walk along. Take the people along.

Am I too idealist or too optimistic? I could be either! I still consider myself a step ahead of someone not making an effort. An effort to make our country a better place to live in.  I chose to see what does not meet the eye. What people often forget to mention, is what I chose to identify. What people often consider irrelevant is what I chose to believe. The inner voice. It echoes louder than your words.  The lost friend or love shouting out that he/she still cares for you. The silent parents smiling that they are proud of you. The distant sister, reiterating that you mean the world to her. The complete strangers reverberating that they care. It is all out there in the open for you. Close your eyes and feel the magic in the winds, they sing a song for you. Dance to the tunes they sing and life will be a musical!

Cheers to the spirit of life and magic of a smile.

This one is a dedication to all those beautiful strangers and friends who made me realize that there lies a beauty in the unsaid things. Giving, lies not in the need of expectations but the ecstasy of just giving.  Making your parents proud is not a fact but an emotion. Thank you for giving me this vision that every single person is just like you and me. All we need to do is give them the opportunity to make a difference.

The Voice within.

“I’ve told you before Ritika, I don’t believe in God. We cannot practice idol worship at our house until I’m alive! This decision is final!”

Ritika said, “Can’t you do this for me?” Kabir looked at Ritika and walked out of the room leaving Ritika helpless and sad. All I did throughout this conversation was look beyond their words and try to understand what they truly mean. I could not help but feel bad about the angry Kabir and helpless Ritika. I watched on as Ritika collapsed in defeat on the edge of the bed as she had tears in her eyes.

A few hours later.

Kabir walks into the room that he left angrily only to find Ritika; his wife nowhere in sight. Kabir Singh the usual self; the Crime branch, Mumbai Chief Investigating officer had his thoughts run wild in a spilt second of not finding his wife. He immediately ran across the house in search of his wife. But found no one. Did he hear my voice? I doubt he did. I was urging to spill out the truth. Kabir picked up his phone and dialed Ritika’s number. His suspicion now knew no boundaries when the automatic teller machine replied, “The number you’re trying to call does not exist”. Ritika never went out anywhere. She’s new to this city, she does not have any friends. Where could she be? Kabir’s thoughts ran helter-skelter.

Kabir decided to rush to his office. As he was moving out he found a letter on his door step. The letter in a white envelope had his name on it. He opened the letter to find written,

“जय त्वं देवि चामुण्डे जय भूतापहारिणि ।

जय सर्वगते देवि कालरात्रि नमोऽस्तु ते

मधुकैटभविध्वंसि विधातृवरदे नमः ।

रूपं देहि जयं देहि यशो देहि द्विषो जहि ’’

Kabir’s thoughts instantly started working on the Sanskrit shlok he just read. Could this be the literal meaning? Why would anyone send me a Sanskrit shlok? He wanted to reach office as soon as he could to decode this letter. As he drove, he sent out a SOS message to Sameer, his tech wizard, Aparna and Jai his close aids.  As he was nearing office, he played the turn of events of the day in his mind. Fight with Ritika about navratri, Ritika goes missing and then he receives a letter with a shlok of the Goddess. The Shlok is definitely trying to say something! The sequence of events now following a path but the confusion only grew.

As he reached office, he went straight to his cabin wasting no time on any formal greetings. His soldiers were ready for war. He pressed the letter against the desk in front of the three and looked really tensed. They had never seen their boss like this before. This has to be different from any other case for sure, thought the three.

Sameer got to his work immediately. He found the exact translation of the verse. It read,

“Victory to You O Devi, Who are Present in All Beings; Salutations to You, O Devi Kalaratri (a form of Devi Durga, literally means the Dark Night).

O Devi, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Beauty, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Victory, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Glory and Please Destroy my (Inner) Enemies.”

While Kabir sat lost in his thoughts, the three of them were further confused. What could this mean? Where did this come from?

After a long silence, Aparna finally spoke, “Boss?” Kabir looked up her, “Hmm?” “What is this? Where did this letter come to you from? Some background so we can start working?”

Kabir realized that he didn’t give them any other details. He then starts narrating his day to this team that was eagerly waiting to hear from him. As the story concluded, with the reminisces lingering on their minds, the officers sat gazing at their atheist boss in shock.

“Okay, so clearly this is something to do with Ritika Ma’am and navratri. I think that someone has kidnapped her and wants you to find her at the Navratri pandal. But why?” Jai the person who speaks the least but the most intelligent of the lot said.

Kabir was now furious. “What? Are u out of your mind! I am not going for any Navratri pooja!”

The next day, Kabir wakes up in the way he never has in the past. He didn’t sleep for a minute. He kept tossing and turning. Now that he was up and sipping on his coffee to get some clarity on what step has to be taken, he thinks aloud, “Maybe I should go to the Navratri pandal that has been set up in our society. What if Jai is right? Let’s see what Ritika’s goddess has to show me.”

Kabir gets dressed in the most casual way to go down only to find people heavily dressed in their best attires. Ladies were wearing beautiful sarees and men were looking daper in their traditionally clothes. What was astonishing for Kabir was that amongst all this chaos and confusion, people dawned their smiles, the most dashing part of their personality. Shifting his focus back, his eyes scanned the pandal for this wife. But he could not find Ritika anywhere. Kabir sat there wondering maybe Jai was wrong all this while. There was no point coming here. But then what did the letter mean? Why would someone send me a letter which translated praising the goddess? While he was lost in his thoughts, a small boy came to him and drops him a letter with a managalsutra. He instantly recognized the mangalsutra. Till he realized he should ask the boy, the small kid was nowhere to be found. He opened the letter to find a similar verse. The managalsutra was without a doubt Ritika’s.

So Jai was right! But why? What was the connection? He rushed back to office and informed the rest about the day. Aparna instantly said, “This verse is relating to Shailaputri. The first day of Navratri is dedicated to Shailaputri. Shailaputri is the goddess of power. Managalsutra signifies power for a lady. So does this mean someone is playing with us?” The others nodded in agreement. The whole day went by in decoding what else could the verses mean. The day ended with only one option left, to go to the pandal the next day.

The remaining eight days went by with new clues every day. With every passing day came a fresh letter delivered by fresh new people delivering them who were no more than delivery boys or girls. Every day Kabir would receive some ornament that belonged to Ritika. Behind what met the eye, hidden amongst the confusions and chaos, hurdles and hiccups that came on the way, Kabir no more had a head ache with lack of sleep, he now started smiling seeing people enjoy the festivities. People were happy irrespective of all the negatives. Surprisingly, Kabir enjoyed these confusions. No sign of his wife did make him helpless. He now had her managalsutra, ear-rings, rings, bangles, nose-ring, toe-ring and payal. But Ritika was nowhere. He sat with all the letters in front of him. Eight days had passed by, eight clues each signifying the importance of the eight devis; Shailiputri,Brahmachirini, Chandraghanta, Kushmanda, Skanda Mata, Katyayani, Kali and Maha Gauri.

“What was common between these? What is it that I can’t see here? What is it that the best team can’t crack? Tomorrow is the last day of Navratri, what would it be? Good or bad? I just hope she’s fine. I want my smiling wife back.  What did the shloks try to tell me?” thought Kabir.

Next day- The last day of Navratri

The final day was here. Kabir was better dressed than usual today. Trying to feel the joy he had been experiencing since the past 8 days among the chaos his life had created. What was he doing? His wife was missing and he was dressing up?

Are you still wondering who I am? You shall know in a while.

Kabir now reached the pandal for the final day, hoping this would end today.

The pandal played loud music as he entered. Everyone was lost in the festivities. No space what so ever for anyone to move around. “How will I find Ritika in this? Where are the rest?” He asked himself. As he tried to find his way, Kabir felt someone following him. He found a dark lane behind the pandal. Why hadn’t he seen this before? He moved there. The ally led to a door. The path was completely dark and lonely. Only Kabir and I walked.

I observed him carefully as he walked to the door. I knew that time was running out but suppressed the urge to check my watch. I took a deep breath and started counting in reverse under my breath. "Ten, nine, eight, seven..."

At the count of one he unlocked the door, the door opened to a room which looked like an old hut. The ceiling was coming down, the wall color was out. He switched on the light to find a verse written on the wall in blood. The same verse that was on the first letter. The blood scared him fist. He went closer to take a look at the verse.

“जय त्वं देवि चामुण्डे जय भूतापहारिणि ।

जय सर्वगते देवि कालरात्रि नमोऽस्तु ते

मधुकैटभविध्वंसि विधातृवरदे नमः ।

रूपं देहि जयं देहि यशो देहि द्विषो जहि ’’

Kabir now completely lost.

I now translated the verse for him,

“Victory to You O Devi, Who are Present in All Beings; Salutations to You, O Devi Kalaratri (a form of Devi Durga, literally means the Dark Night).

O Devi, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Beauty, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Victory, Please Grant me (Spiritual) Glory and Please Destroy my (Inner) Enemies.

“Think of how your nine days have been, Kabir. What did you witness? God? Did you feel God? No? Then what? You felt yourself. Yes Kabir, God is not an ‘idol’ but an ‘ideal’. It’s someone, something right inside every individual. The beauty of life does not lie in worshipping God. The festivities are only a reason to come together. God is not the destination, it is the path that leads you to your destination. The destination is mere JOY. The smile you saw on the lady’s face who sat there? Or the content on the man’s face who stood behind his wife? Or the kids running around with sweets in their hands?

Yes, that is what I am talking about. It is the inner spirituality. The inner being that matters. You need to destroy the enemies within you. It’s not God that led you to the pandal all nine days, but the struggle for your wife. The hunt for her. To see her smiling face. Didn’t you discover yourself in the process? That is what Ritika asked you for. Your support, your love and the joy of togetherness. She asked for the destruction of the enemy within.

Kabir fell to the floor in realization. The verse spoke of the enemy within him. The darkness within me. His atheist rebellious anger was his enemy. All Ritika asked for was his support not spirituality. Ritika walked into the room at this time. Kabir was now in tears as he hugged his wife.

Who was I?

I was the same inner voice. Right inside you. You felt me when I got angry at Ritika. You felt me in the discovery of yourself and you feel me today as you realized your mistakes. I was Kabir’s inner strength. The moral that lead him. The voice that lead him to realize what Ritika tried to show him.

Moral: We all have the ME inside of US. It is just time that shows which me we let out and keep hidden.  The hidden beauty in the everyday goof-ups, the perfections within the imperfections trying to peek-a-boo in our lives. It’s just how well we see them, recognize them and make an effort to let them make a difference in our small world. The magic you feel within knows no boundaries. It needs no accolades and it needs no material objects to testify its existence. The joy of living and feeling every chaos is worth more than any great perk.

The smiles of sharing, the tears of true friendship and the feeling of being loved lies just somewhere within the pandemonium of office, the noise of work and the silence of loneliness. So live for the joy of living and share for the joy of caring. People are blessings in disguise.

Live and Love.

The hand of the teacher

The hand of the teacher
A million dreams..
A million lives..
A million mistakes.. 
A million decisions..
But just two hands...
A hand that gave you a pat on the back..
And a hand that guided you..
It's the hand of the teacher..

The hand that lead those million dreams to reality..
The hand that corrected those errors.
The hand that smiled and picked you up when you fell.
The hand that drives the car until you are educated enough and can drive yourself..
It's the hand of the teacher...

A hand that we more often than not forget to thank..
A hand that didn't let us give up even if we didn't want to fight, the ungrateful us...
Life at the top leaves behind those angels who walked into our lives and lead us unknowingly to where we are today.

Without a grudge, without a frown,
With an undying spirit of service..
It is the hand of our teachers..

For my first teacher.. 
My mom 
My guide... 
My inspiration... 
My Life... 
My mother ❤

Life in its true beauty

In this fast paced life, do we sometimes feel the urge to just halt life where it is? To just take in what is happening around us, to feel every emotion in its true form. Sometimes I get a feeling that I am standing at a cross road and looking into the daze and everything around me is moving. It feels like my life has halted and the ground below me is moving and moving so fast, that I have lost my control over it.

If only life was a video player which had a pause, play, rewind and forward button. I would pause my life to get hold of what is gone away and brace myself for what is to come and then play it again. How serene would it be if I could rewind and relive all those beautiful memories again and change the wrong doings? But life doesn’t come with an eraser, but it does with a permanent marker. Be wise to not let the unimportant colors fill your bulletin board leaving no space for the marks that beautify the board of your life. The ugly chapters need not be wiped out but they can definitely be over shadowed by the ones who deserve the space.

As I sit on my office desk sipping a cup of green tea staring into my laptop screen to find piles and piles of pending work, I realize that life has played and played out really fast. The moving tide of this paced life has dragged me with it.

Maybe you think I am one of those who is lost at the hands of life. But let me tell you, I am not done just yet. This one was not just about somebody ranting about his/her life. It’s about someone who has accepted the beauty that lies in the confusions, mistakes and hurdles in this crazy messed up world.

If only we had the ability to enjoy life’s testing and pass with flying colors. This test, the test of life would turn out to be more difficult than an IIT/IIM exam. But just maybe the fruits are far more rewarding. The hidden beauty in the everyday goof-ups, the perfections within the imperfections trying to peek-a-boo in our lives. It’s just how well we see them, recognize them and make an effort to let them make a difference in our small world. The magic you feel within knows no boundaries. It needs no accolades and it needs no material objects to testify its existence. The joy of living and feeling every chaos is worth more than any great perk.

The smiles of sharing, the tears of true friendship and the feeling of being loved lies just somewhere within the pandemonium of office, the noise of work and the silence of loneliness.

So don’t let the wrapper on your chocolate stop you from relishing the sweetness of your dreams. Because the true taste of life lies in the untagged, unknown and undiscovered moments. So don’t just live, but feel the life within the breaths you take. Enjoy the mistakes you make and learn from them. Because no sorrow can take away the right of feeling from you. Feel the sorrow, it’s a part of your life. It’s an emotion worthy to be felt but not worthy enough that it lets you forget the gift of ecstasy.

So cherish and live every moment!

 

 

The Eccentric Father

Like most would expect and express..

A girl's first hero and the savior. And themselves as their dad's angel.

 

Yes, we share the obvious conventional relation.

But the father that he is, is most astonishing for many and unacceptable for the rest.

 

The place I stand today is a comfortable one.

It's not because I have it cushioned by my parents,

but because my father taught me how to build myself that space.

It's not because he picked me when I fell,

it's because he let me fall only to rise stronger.

I stand to take on the world in its most cruel form,

because he's the person who stood for the right and empowered me to believe in right.

Having said so, it's that eccentric nature of his,

because he doesn't accept what one may say is right, but defines what is right to him.

He shunned away the chronicles that held base in the Orthodox system.

The unconventional father, whose love lies in his anger,

encouragement lies in silence

and constant support lies in critique.

 

Papa.. I may not say it but I owe who I am to you.

I may not express it but you are my hero.

I may not mention but I am proud of being called your daughter.

 Because I wouldn't have deserved such an amazing father if I was asked to choose.

Thank you for who you are and what you do for us.

I'd rather prefer someone who corrects me and isolates me to face the world over a one who holds guard every minute.

Your love is beyond comparison.

 

We don't need words to describe us, just a heartfelt gratitude and a promise to make you proud every single day of my life.

 

Be rest assured because you taught me to never doubt and always 'believe'.
Happy birthday paaa.. love you :*

As we take the last step

As I walk across college, I feel my steps move towards the gate with just a few steps away from crossing line of fate. The day still plays fresh in my head, when I saw 'H. R. COLLEGE' flashing on my computer screen, I jumped to joy with the little butterflies in my stomach, waiting to discover a new world. The door that was left to be unlocked came as fresh breeze of light to my life. Today, as I look back, I see innocent school children walking into the gates of college with dreams, ambitions and a life to be lived. A pondering smile forms across my face leaving me dwelling on the memories and the life that ‘is’ with the sudden realization that it will soon become a life that ‘was’. 

The 5 years have gone by in a jiffy. When I started off, I didn't know where this would lead me, where I would lead myself, I only knew one thing; I wanted to paint a beautiful picture in my reminiscence which would be read as COLLEGE. A breath of relief washes over me; as I am relived I did so. Was college about getting somewhere? Or was it about building yourself to be someone? With high dreams and ambitions of being market ready individuals we all began our journey.

What is left in the end is the realization that nothing said above matters. What questions me is that, is it always about what you achieve? Maybe a few months back if I was asked my answer would be yes. But I stand a different person today. A person who has grown to realize, that you may be right but you can't always go against the wrong. So what is it that is important? What is it that lasts? What has impacting effect is not where you reached, but what you did right to get there or not.

It is not about who stood by you when you had everything, but who stood by you when you had nothing, and this is the sole purpose of life. This is why I give so much importance to college relationships, because 10 years down the line I might be the richest person and may have the best people and have world class food. But life's true achievement lies in the people who supported you when you were no one. The best food is the one that is shared among 10 people It is these college and school relations that one builds which are in the most pure and true form, because they love and support you for who you are and not who you would be.

I am blessed to have these kinds of relations in my life. People who made me realize the beauty of life, who now form part of a beautiful memory. I can't imagine a dreaded day when I have to get up one morning and not go to college. When I will no more have something senseless to laugh over. I will not have anyone to pat my back and throw footwear at me for getting good marks. I will not have anyone who will make sure that I ate on time. There won’t be people who will abuse you only to make sure you are fine.

In a matter of few months, life will change and all we’ll all have left is this beautiful box of memories. As we take the last step, I look behind smiling at the gates of college and my imagination paints the picture of watchman uncle insisting we wear our identity cards and we slyly walk past, wishing and greeting people on our way. The endless waiting for approvals, the fun-filled work, the day and night efforts to pull off events, the covering up for each other, running across the streets, sitting on the stairs(our khopcha) for hours together, the random tea and coffee sessions; all left fading as we move away.

The world outside seems an isolated place only to be decorated with memories of the life you once had. What was life changing was the fact that I learnt to find my smile in other people, because I know the people out there did the same. This one is a dedication to all those beautiful people out there, who in a big or small or any way walked across my college life and left your mark there. It’s a deep heart-felt thank you for touching my life in ways more than one; you make me who I am today. We all lived life to inspire each other so that we all grow to be who we are today. We fell, life challenged us but in the end we picked those broken pieces for each other and life moved on.

So never stop dreaming, living and inspiring, because the book of life will show you different chapters, but the most amazing one will be this unsaid, indirect and unlabelled chapter called COLLEGE.